I have been reflecting on the similarities between me now and me as a teenager. I started this blog post months ago when I was recognising similarities between myself and my teenage daughter. Today I was listening to music that I listened to all the time as a teenager and it reminded me of this post. Excuse the quality of the photo! This was taken in 1994 when I was all of 13 and probably thought I knew everything.
Listening to the music today (Nirvana), I felt like me. It felt good.
I think I probably stopped listening to the music that I liked as often because I had kids and my taste wasn’t exactly their taste. And honestly, it probably wasn’t exactly the music most of my friends and family were listening to either.
My music taste is similar. The other day I was making a playlist of songs that make me feel most like ‘me’. My music taste has always been a little unlike most of my friends and probably still is. Metallica, Guns n Roses, Nirvana, Pearl Jam and Red Hot Chilli Peppers still all make the list (as they have since I was 12) and some country-ish music thrown in occasionally for something different. My Cher phase has passed however…. Although now that I have remembered my pre-teen love of Cher I may find myself looking for a Cher playlist on Spotify!
My taste in clothing hasn’t really changed much. I still wear mostly black much to my family’s insistence that I become more colourful. I still own a denim jacket and I still only wear makeup if I am going to something fancy.
I was a messy teenager… nothing much has changed there. I was always 10 minutes late…. Now I would say I am always running late but generally get there right on time. Except kinder… always late to an 8.30am kinder start.
I was shy but once I felt comfortable I could talk and talk and talk. Nothing much has changed there.
I used to write and read all of the time. I would develop characters and stories and draw the characters and what they were wearing. I kept a journal with all my secrets. I only took up journaling again about two years ago and have only been writing this blog for a few months and still finding my writing style but I am doing it. When I was working as a Social Worker I used to love the part where I had to write up my client’s life stories.
I have always been a kind person and sensitive to other people. I think that I lost it a little when my youngest two were very small because I felt so ‘needed’ by my family constantly that I didn’t have the emotional space to be there as much as I normally would for others. Hopefully now that has come back, it feels like it has.
I have always been highly sensitive. To smell, sound, emotions, other people’s needs and feelings, to events in the world.
I wanted to work ‘helping people’. I still think that this is my purpose.
My hair…. Hasn’t changed much at all, except some grey ones!
I would never begin a conversation. I would now.
My self-confidence is higher.
I used to hate being introverted. Now I accept that as part of me and work with it.
I have realised life is so much more complicated than I thought as a teenager.
I used to love a microwaved tomato and cheese croissant at school. Now only a toasted one will suffice.
In reflection, I am probably pretty similar to how I was as a teenager, with a few positive changes. There are a few things like listening to the music I love that I need to remember to do more.
How similar are you to the teenage version of you?