I love Christmas. I love the planning, the shopping, decorating, baking, everything (except the elf on the shelf but that is another story). But… every Christmas for the last five years I have that little bit of sadness too that I am spending another Christmas without my Dad. I am sure that many of you reading probably get it too, that twinge of sadness when someone is missing at Christmas time.
The last few year of my Dad’s life I didn’t always see him on Christmas Day but often Christmas Eve or the day after Christmas. The last Christmas celebration with him was difficult as he was not able to talk much and it was heartbreaking to watch. I felt that it was our last Christmas with him alive and that was very sad. He passed away less than five months later.
This will be my sixth Christmas without him and while the first year was the most difficult, I still feel that grief when I gather with my family to celebrate and realise that he is not here anymore.
Every celebration or time that I want to feel close to him I wear a special ring that I brought myself a few years after he passed away to remember him with. So, this Christmas I will put it on and pause to remember him and all of the Christmas’s I did spend with him. I will pause during the day and silently tell him about my day. I will shed a few tears when I think of how much he would have loved seeing his grandchildren grow up. I will be grateful the Christmas’s we spent together and all of the good things he brought in to my life.
I will also stop and remember my Grandmother who passed away two years ago, a few weeks before Christmas. I will think of her as I use her gravy boat to pour our gravy from at the Christmas table.
I know some of my beautiful readers and friends will be missing someone from their celebrations this year. Maybe your parent or someone close to you has passed away, or someone you care about can’t be there to celebrate. Maybe there is a rift in the family causing you to be apart from your person that you are missing. I know it hurts, I know that you will shed some tears, I know that it can feel a little empty without that person there.
My hope is that you can remember the good times with your loved one, do something to honor them but also enjoy your day. I am sending my love your way xoxo.